Your muse finds my muse curled up on the bed, crying. Send me a number between 1-35 and I will generate a response. You can send ‘Hush’ for a a randomized response.
He was lost in his thoughts, his own sobs being enough to muffle out the noise of his mother entering the room. If she hadn’t come and sat next to him on the bed, James would have never even known she had been there. He flinched. He wasn’t too sure why, he just did. His eyes, all puffy and red from crying, slowly moved up to look at her. She didn’t even have to ask him to say what was wrong, the concerned look on her face was enough to tell him she wasn’t leaving until he did so. And he sighed softly. He felt like a little kid again, crying in front of his mum. And that only made him feel worse.
“There’s nothing left to live for…”
"And great ones too," she added, a bit upset that his smile was no more than a flicker of what it once was. River was unsure of how to help him if he couldn’t talk much to her. But at least he hadn’t completely lost his humor yet, so that was always a good sign. "Still not really stupid. Idiotic, perhaps, but not stupid."
"You weren’t crying too loud, my love," she reassured, giving him a soft smile. "You left a few of your things about the house like you always did when you came home without me noticing. An old habit you haven’t kicked, I assume. Just like your rambling. But that’s alright, it helps you get everything you need to say out. It’s a good thing." River looked over him, trying to figure out just what made her son that upset. She had seen him in a way similar to this once or twice, but it was never quite this severe. "Don’t worry about me getting upset by it, sweetie. I won’t be upset at you, I promise. By the way you’re acting, I don’t think it’s something I could be upset at you for anyway."
River sighed lightly, leaning back against his headboard. Something he was afraid of or that hurt him then. Something he wasn’t quite ready to accept as the truth. But the longer he fought it, the more it would hurt by trying to deny it, and he needed to see that. “It’s alright if you don’t want to or can’t tell me. I’m right here for you to tell me as much as you want to when you’re ready, just as I always have been. If there’s nothing more I can do than give you a place to fix yourself, then so be it.”
“And great ones.” He couldn’t argue with her on that one, because deep down, he knew she was right. Everything has it’s good things and bad things, it’s just sometimes the good outweighs the bad, or the bad outweighs the good. It was a simple fact of life that he probably should have gotten used to by now. But obviously he hadn’t completely. “Yeah well, will my dad being who he is, it would be an absolute miracle if I wasn’t idiotic.” He actually laughed this time, and it made him feel strange, if not a little better. He couldn’t really remember the last time he laughed, most certainly before everything had happened, so a little while to say the least.
“Of course I did. Old habits die hard.” His face fell into the pillow again, slightly annoyed with himself that he couldn’t even sneak into his mother’s house properly. But in a way he was sort of thankful? While he was still being closed off as hell-which he knew River wouldn’t allow that to last for too long-just having his mum there brought him a sense of comfort, a small sense that things were going to be okay. “It is useful for getting everything out. Unless that’s not really what you want to do.” He hadn’t actually done that yet, but he knew there was going to be one time he accidentally slipped out a secret in the middle of a ramble. He glanced up at her as she said she couldn’t be upset with him and shook his head softly. “I never said it was me you’d be upset with.”
She leaned against the headboard to his bed, and James just knew that she was trying to think of what possibly could have happened to make him like this. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best mum ever?” He raised his eyebrow for a moment, a soft smile on his face. There weren’t many mothers who would be some calm when their kids were this much off an emotional wreck, and there weren’t many who wouldn’t be bombarding their child with questions either. He was grateful for that, of how understanding she was. He let out a groan as he lifted himself up to he was sitting up properly, though his eyes were trained down onto the bedspread as he picked at it. “Kovarian came back for round two…”
Anna had seen James at the beginning of class and she was going to introduce herself to him but then the teacher pulled her aside. Of course she was going to say yes. She wanted a better standing. Sometimes, because of her aunt and uncle, couldn’t make it to school and she was seen as ungrateful.
Sure, she had bounced around, been abused, and looked down negatively by some of her teacher, but it didn’t stop her from doing well and doing her damnedest to stand out.
Her eyes took in his entire figure, first impressions were everything. Remember Anna. You’ll never be adopted if you can’t make a good first impression. She blinked, trying to drown out the sound of her social worker’s voice-none of her family wanted her. That much was evident.
She got a weird feeling from him, the look he gave her, the way he spoke. Anna bit her lip for a moment before smiling, “Hi, I’m Anna. I think our schedules are basically the same so it should be easy for me to show you around. At least from what the teacher told me.” She tugged at her hair for a quick second, “How are things so far?”
James finally took a moment to actually, properly look at her. She seemed nice enough, maybe just a little, tiny bit cute? Certainly a little nervous given the fact she was tugging on her hair at which he was quick to give a reassuring smile. Shouldn’t it have been the other way round, though? Shouldn’t he be the one that was nervous. After all he was the one that was new here out of the two of them…
He nodded slowly as she spoke. He supposed having the same schedule was a good thing. At least he’d have a familiar face around, and she alright as a person. “I’m James, though you probably guessed that.” He wasn’t quite too sure why they were introducing themselves when the teacher had pretty much done it for them only a few seconds ago, but he still outstretched his hand towards her anyway. “It’s nice to meet you.”
He was silent for a moment as she asked how things were going. Awful. It’s too loud, too crowded. Why the hell am I stuck here when I have the whole of time and space waiting for me?. He never said any of that though, and instead shrugged his shoulders. “It’s only my first say. And since classes haven’t really started yet, I’d say it’s a little bit too early to say.” He laughed slightly, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he glanced at her awkwardly. “What about you? How long have you been here?”
Estelle was curled up in her bed, her blankets drawn tight around her. After burying the baby with the Doctor, she had given up on talking to anyone. She sighed as her phone started buzzing. Again. Tiredly, Estelle pushed herself up and grabbed her phone.
"What is it, James?" Her voice was full of sadness and exhaustion.
He’d heard the news from the Doctor not long after he came back from burying Estelle’s baby with her. It shocked him enough to say the least, he couldn’t even imagine how his sister was feeling. Well… actually he could. Their dad had phoned him from the TARDIS, so James had just assumed that she was on her own, which was never good for anyone in their family. He had hesitated on phoning her for a while, knowing that when the same had happened to him, he had hated even the mere mention of it. — But he just needed to phone here. Just so she knew he was there, like a big brother should be.
She answered after a few rings and James winced at the tone of her voice. “Uh, sorry.” His voice shook with a slightly nervousness which he tried his best to push back. “It’s just that, er, dad’s told me and protective brother mode came into action. ——- I’m so sorry, Stella.”
[oh and yeah, any new threads and stuff will be tagged with a verse now, just to make things more organised. —- i’ll also make a verse page sooner or later.]
“I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think you can actually change the colour of your kidneys.”
Her mind drifted towards her passionate dreams about him. She forced herself not to think about them, “So. James. I am glad you remember.” She tried to distract her mind.
"Yes we get to go outside." She grinned. Her hands found his and squeezed gently, "I am glad to hear that you’re okay with it." She almost kissed the back of his hand before she thought better of it.
They were just there in a moment of silence, and it allowed James’ mind to run through thoughts he really shouldn’t be thinking about at all, let alone with Anna around. His mind went back to the dreams he had of her. The way they had been together, it was literally James desired and more. But as Anna spoke again, he was brought back into the real world, and he realised his dreams would and had to just stay as dreams. “Yeah, me too. Makes me look silly for being all pessimistic yesterday, though. But I’m glad.” He gave her a real, genuine smile. Almost like he was proud of himself for remembering, despite having no control over it at all.
“So you guys have officially decided I’m not a threat, then?” He couldn’t help himself from teasing as he leaned forwards to nudge her lightly. Anna took hold of her hand and squeezed it and he searched her eyes, noticing the hesitation that was in them. “Is something wrong?”
Anna giggled and leaned forward to bite his shoulder, “You got a few years on me still.” She teased. She returned all his kisses, “I just don’t want to give me the possibility of me loosing you. But I trust you. You promised me forever.”
"I dunno. I think you would find it kinky…" Her brows came up. She groaned, "Don’t it makes me want to jump you here at the table."
She leaned forward and a gasp came from him as she bit his shoulder. His eyes narrowed down at her, narrowing even further as she spoke. “Maybe so. But still, I’m looking pretty damn fine for it.” He folded his arms as he gave her a look. Anna returned every single little kiss that he gave her and he smiled softly down at her. “I did promise you forever, so that’s what you’re gonna get.” He pulled her to him, arms wrapping around her as he pressed his face into her hair for a moment. “Hope that’s not a problem for you.” He teased slightly.
“You got me.” James raised his hands up sarcastically as her brows came up. “I know it’s a weird kink to have, but I can’t help it.” She groaned, and he couldn’t help but laugh at her words. “You know, if we didn’t have things to do, I might have just challenged you to that…” He gave her a wink again before laughing again.
“Sweetie, tell me, what’s wrong?” River put a hand on her son’s forehead, gauging his temperature.
“Got the flu or something, I don’t know. — Never actually been sick before.” He sighed softly as he put a hand on his head, bringing his own hands up to rub at his temples. “Headaches the worst and I can’t even take bloody aspirin for it.”
You could send anon or not. You could say your own or not. You could say why or not.
But it’d be really awesome if you did answer. I guarantee it’ll make the day for nearly anyone.
[got the worst throat known to mankind. and the fact i can’t really breathe through my nose rn, means i’m breathing through my mouth and so i haven’t really slept because it just hurts to much to fall into a proper deep sleep. so after trying for 4 hours, i have officially given up. if i can’t sleep, i might as well pass the time trying to get some replies out.]